Beyond the Behaviour

“[…] man is naturally good. God created man good. How to stimulate (if you wish) or resuscitate, or reawaken the good there is in man. [After entering into a place of worship or a sanctuary] they [man] should be different than what they were when they went in —

that’s the proper use of it [the sanctuary].”

— Sister Louise-Marguerite

I was a single mother of three, and in 2005 chose to take a leap of faith and do a Bachelor’s Degree in Cultural Studies at Trent University.

On June 9, 2006, I embarked on a risky research journey, I entitled “Sacred Lies Within”.

While this is not the topic at hand here, I will give context to it.

I was investigating what I felt was an improper setting of a chapel, on display in the National Art Gallery in Ottawa, that once stood sacred and strong as the Rideau Street Chapel nestled in the Ottawa Convent.

That’s what led me to “The Mother House” in Ottawa which was safely housing a 96 year old nun. She was packed full of wisdom, and equally as valuable beheld sacred memories of the aforementioned chapel.

Sister Louise-Marguerite not only agreed to meet for an interview, she spent over two hours with me; ensuring there wasn’t one thing left unsaid.

Well, naturally I’d come packed full of questions.

The Sister knew how bold I was being, pressing for answers to this end.

The very last thing she said to me was, “You’re quite courageous working on that [investigation]”

You see, I was challenging the curator’s chosen narrative for the chapel.

I was challenging his lack of honour for the sacred.

After a meeting with him in early 2006, I couldn’t shake his aloof answers and proud proclamation that it was “just a period piece.” 

There were too many unanswered questions which could only be given by the ones who brought life pieces to its “period”.

More over, I wanted solutions for how we might return the sacred to its place; to what God created it for, honouring the sacred pieces that once lay within.

Obviously, returning it to a chapel where people could come to worship wasn’t even on the solution suggestion list.

What was instead on that list was how to find a way to present it to those onlookers as a testimony of the sacred and the love that once resonated within its walls; returning it to the “good”.

You’re likely thinking, “How is this relevant, Paula?”

To the point…

In the words of our dear Sister, “How to stimulate or resuscitate, or reawaken the good there is in man?”, my approach to teaching and to ministry has been founded to the core on this very spoken word shared that 9th day of June, in 2006.

It became etched on the tablet of my heart as a mother, a teacher, a wife, a friend.

It is now weaved into my every song, through every word written, and through every testimony I speak in or outside of the prison walls.

You see, we are the church! The living, breathing, walking sanctuary.

We carry the sacred.

Sacred lies within.

And yes, while I was using a play on words with my own work nearly twenty years ago — challenging the lies I saw being conveyed in the chapel’s display as a mere period art-piece — my main point is that when we choose to carry the sacred into every setting, it becomes a balm or anointment for healing.

What allows me to walk into the prison chapel each week and show love and compassion to each and every man, looking beyond the behaviour and the reason they are there, is seeing the sacred in them. 

It’s seeing the “good” in them, through the eyes of their creator; beyond the offense.

That’s the only way it can be done.

This very way of thinking, translated into one of our songs — “Let Me Be Love and Light” — which I wrote during the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, has become the foundation of our ministry.

At the time, I was struggling with depression (as many were) and I didn’t want to stay stuck in the idea that there was no way out of it and that there was nothing I could do for others feeling the same. I could see myself dangerously self-imploding; absolutely useless in serving myself, let alone others in pain.

Consider the wisdom of Sister Louise-Marguerite, “[After entering into a place of worship or into a sanctuary] they [man] should be different than what they were when they went in — that’s the proper use of it [the sanctuary].”

When we combine that to the idea that we are the sanctuary that carries the love of Christ, the faith of a child, the forgiveness of our Heavenly Father — the list continues — then, when anyone steps into our sacred space, they should always leave “different than what they were when they went in.”

In no way have I arrived at mastering the practice of this very way of thinking.

It is a mindset I have chosen to carry and quite often get a check in my spirit about: causing a confession of, “Search my heart, oh Lord!”

This sometimes means returning to the song, declaring and proclaiming it yet again; “Let me be love and light”.

To that end, I am offering it as a place to land through the video below.

Please bear in mind that it is merely a rough recording, not mastered or professionally mixed.

It’s definitely not my finest moment of doing a vocal track, given it was purposed as a rough demo.

But, you will at least know my heart and the sacred love it carries for you who choose to step in.

So, I’ll stop chewing on bits of pride, packed full of excuses, and just let you experience it in your own way.

Stay Blessed,

Paula

Let Me Be Love And Light

Verse 1

Lord, in my darkest times

In my despair

Let me come outside of myself

To give to others

Help me to lift my spirits 

By loving someone else

Take me from this pain 

By helping someone feeling the same

Chorus

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Verse 2

When someone wrongs me

In their despair 

Let me bless them with fervent prayer

Show them mercy

Help me to see all people

Through your eyes                               

Let compassion be my beauty

Break through compromise

Chorus

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Bridge

When I feel surrounded and the battle’s closing in 

I chase out the darkness 

Call out the warrior within 

My suit of armour is a spoken word away

I wield the sword of the spirit       

Carry my shield of faith

(Repeat once)

Last Chorus

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light

Let me be love and light